1、可以给我买包盐吗？我觉得我们的关系淡了。
Can you buy me a bag of salt? I think our relationship is weak.
2、老人说脸大的女孩旺夫，爱笑的女孩运气不会太差，大大咧咧的脾气招人喜欢，我瞬间觉得自己好值钱。
The old man said that a girl with a big face would make everything smooth for her husband. A girl who loves to laugh is not so bad. The girls careless temper appeals to people. I feel like Im worth it.
3、你男朋友是不是以为你缺氧，所以每个节日都送你空气。
Does your boyfriend think you lack oxygen, so he sends you air every holiday.
4、终于找到适合自己的形容词了：肥而不腻，人是铁，饭是钢，床是磁铁。
Finally I found an adjective suitable for myself: fat but not greasy, man is iron, rice is steel, bed is magnet.
5、掉头发是因为你太久没对象，你的头发自认为你出家了，所以开始脱落。
Losing your hair is because you haven had a partner for a long time. Your hair thinks that you are a monk, so it begins to fall off.
6、不要跟我耍心眼，以我的先天条件和智商，你耍的那点心眼，我看不懂。
Don play your tricks on me. With my inborn condition and intelligence quotient, I can understand you.
7、秋天不适合恋爱，因为早晚都会凉，而且还会黄。
Autumn is not suitable for love, because sooner or later it will be cool and yellow.
8、买了我会破产吗？不买我会发财吗？我想通了，我要买。
Will I go bankrupt if I buy it? Will I be rich if I don buy it? Ive figured it out. Ill buy it.
9、一百块换成两张五十的，好像没什么感觉，如果把36岁的老公换成18岁的，估计会激动得疯了。
It seems that there is no feeling to change a hundred yuan into two fifty pieces. If you change a 36 year old husband into an 18-year-old one, you will be very excited.
10、当初不顾家人反对，一人注册了微信，现在一条消息都没有，我快要坚持不下去了。
At the beginning, despite the opposition of my family, I signed up for wechat alone. Now there is no news, and I can keep going.
11、觉得我丑，给我转10元，不是我吹，我可能一个都收不到。
If you think Im ugly, give me 10 yuan. Its not my boast, I may not get any.
12、花钱很快乐，买东西很快乐，拆快递更快乐，三倍的快乐抵不过还花呗的悲伤。
Spending money is very happy, shopping is very happy, dismantling express is more happy, three times the happiness can not offset ant credit pays sadness.
【画师cr：尹小悦Alisayue】
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