1、我总是在枕头下放着一把刀，以防有人突然给我带来小蛋糕。
I always have a knife under my pillow in case someone suddenly brings me a little cake.
2、今天外面的风好大，我好害怕，万一别人都被刮走了，就我刮不走，那多丢人。
Its very windy outside today. Im scared. If everyone else is scraped away and I don , that would be a shame.
3、当代年轻人的现状：干啥啥不行，熬夜第一名；一直减肥，从来没瘦过；一直存钱，从未成功过。
The current situation of contemporary young people: nothing can be done, staying up late is the first; I have been losing weight, but I have never been thin; I have been saving money and never succeeded.
4、我爱上了我的床，但是闹钟吃醋了，总是想把我和床分开。
I fell in love with my bed, but the alarm clock was jealous and always wanted to separate me from the bed.
5、别人买东西：喜欢，不看价格，当场去试；我买东西：喜欢，偷看价格，当场去世。
When others buy things: if she likes it, she doesn look at the price and tries it on the spot; if I do, I secretly look at the price and die on the spot.
6、希望下次微信响起的时候，是你想跟我处对象，而不是拍了拍我。
I hope that the next time wechat rings, its you who want to be with me instead of patting me.
7、我可以做你的小宝贝吗？那种犯了错你都舍不得骂我，还心软给我抱抱的那种。
Can I be your baby? Even if I made a mistake, you are reluctant to scold me, but also soft hearted give me a hug.
8、别再抱怨你在十几亿人中，找不到一个对的人。考试的时候，选择题四个选项你都找不到一个对的。
Don complain that you can find the right person in a billion people. Even if there are only four options in a multiple choice question, you can find one right one.
9、我说的话可能没人听进去，但我放的屁，一定有人闻得到。
No one may listen to what I say, but someone can smell my fart.
10、周末想约男朋友出去吃饭，问一下，约谁的男朋友不会被打。
I want to ask a boyfriend out for dinner at the weekend. Let me ask you, whose boyfriend do I date so that I won get beaten?
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